Archive for March, 2008

I will not judge today.

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

I’ve been noticing a pattern of judgment in my life lately. I am so passionate about the process of raising my consciousness and supporting others to do the same. I see circumstances and low levels of consciousness in the world, our government, my workplace, my church,… and I get really frustrated with wanting things to be different. It’s at these times when I feel a tightness in my chest and body and hear voices of judgment in my head. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve been speaking from that judgmental place, and putting out that energy all over my life. I know that speaking from a place of judgment doesn’t support the results I’m wanting, and so I am now willing to declare that my current strategies are not working for me.

I think it’s important to make the distinction between frustration and judgment. Frustration is what I’m feeling in those moments. Judgment is an old ineffective strategy I have for dealing with my frustration. It comes from wanting to feel powerful and effective and in control. It comes from the past. It isn’t working.

I know that one of the best things I can do to support myself to not get caught in this trap is to cultivate spaciousness. I am declaring today that I will not judge! When I’m in that stuck place I will allow and speak my emotions without the judgmental thoughts.

I am also committed to embracing all levels of consciousness, not just the higher, more spacious ones that I am so fond of.  It is only in the embracing of what is that change is possible.  It is  through acceptance that intention can be manifested.  That is the path that I am choosing.

Where is judgment showing up in your life?  Is it working?

love,

Todd.

Communication Blocks

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

I’ve noticed that one of the most common sources of communication blocks occurring in my life is when I am trying to be understood in a conversation when the other person is hurting. Whenever I do this, it seems that the conversation breaks down into a contest where we are each focused primarily on our own needs.  I’ve been working to change this for a while, and the results have been great! It comes down to one simple practice; when I notice that the other person is hurting, I seek to understand them before attempting to be heard.

By being conscious about this it’s like flipping a switch inside me, where suddenly I stop competing and start really putting my attention on getting the other person. When the other person feels like they’ve been heard, that I’ve stayed connected to them, and they’ve expressed their feelings, then they’re much more likely to be open to hearing about my feelings and needs.

I find it nice to mark the transition very clearly. I repeat back what I’ve heard, and then I might ask, “Do you have anything else you’d like for me to understand?” If the answer is no, then I might even ask, “Are you open to hearing me feelings and needs around this?”

I know that I am committed to being with people in a way that honors all of us, and that recognizes that we are all doing the best we can expressing our needs. Many of us learned to fight for our needs by using strategies that are not in line with our current values. These strategies are merely habits waiting to be updated in ways that serve us all. Those of you that know me personally can help me practice this commitment!

How are you committed to being with people?

Love,
Todd.