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This is a great question that I think is really worth asking yourself every once in a while. Another question I use to look at this same topic is, “Where is your power leaking?” That’s because when we avoid something in our lives, it remains as a constant drain of our vital life force energy.

I was in a group last week and noticed that I really wasn’t enjoying myself. This group of strangers had come together with a great intention; to discover how we could bring the power of Spirit more deeply into our everyday lives. I was really wanting to connect with the other participants, and as it’s such a big topic, was very much ok with the fact that people looked at it differently, or were struggling with the seeming paradox of believing in Spirit and then looking at some of the struggles in the world today. What I wasn’t enjoying was the way the group was being facilitated.

I had an assessment that the facilitator was micromanaging by trying to answer everyone’s questions about God. I noticed a tightness in my chest. I heard explanations and theories and began to feel disconnected from Spirit, which was the opposite of my intention in being there. I began interrupting the explanations by posing questions instead, as that is my way of supporting people in exploring to find their own answers. In that process I noticed that I wasn’t enjoying how I was being, and that I had some self judgment for interupting.
I walked away wondering if maybe I just didn’t belong in that group.

When I pondered this later, I saw it differently. I can see now that I was trying to step in and speak for my needs around how I would have liked to honor everyone in the group. But what was in my way of simply stating what I was seeing? I was feeling compassion for the facilitator, and I was making myself wrong for even considering suggesting that we run the group differently because that would have been “judgemental” of me. I was, in essence, holding in my assessments so I could avoid judging the facilitator. The result was that all those feeling were festering inside me, to the point where I disconnected from both the other participants and from Spirit.

What hit me the next day was that I can see this pattern in many areas of my life. In trying to hold a place of compassion and openness, I sometimes am avoiding using the power and insight of my current truth, even though my truth (my present experience) can change drastically if I am able to step through it. The insight I had regarding this is that I need to go through my truth in order to get to the truth. In other words, I can’t get there by avoiding what’s so for me. In order to get to the other side, I need to keep stepping in until I get to a different place.

This doesn’t mean holding on to my current truth as the truth (we can all play that game). By going through my truth I mean honoring my needs and my wisdom that are showing up as resistance AND holding space for everyone else’s current truth. I’m going to step in with the intention of having our group work better for everyone, while being grateful and compassionate to the facilitator and to myself in the process. I’m going to have a conversation with the facilitator to explore our mutual needs and intentions. That way, everyone wins!

What is it that you’re avoiding???

love, Todd.

Distractions are like noise. They turn our attention away from what’s really important to us. In this age distractions are marketed to us with the help of focus groups, polls, and studies around how to get our attention and mold our behavior towards particular short term gratification strategies as an escape from a hectic inner and outer world.

Despite a growing number of heart and thought numbing distractions, a growing hunger still exists in the human soul for something deeper and more meaningful. We hunger for deep connection, love, meaningful work, community, safety, happiness and fullfillment. No amount of distraction will quench this hunger, only abate it like junk food temporarily filling us without nourishment.

Distraction should not be confused with recreation. We all need to unwind from the stress and monotony of daily living, and play is a very important and necessary function of all higher species. Often we pretend to play by being entertained, by paying to watch the product of other people’s imaginations.

Recently my partner Javier got a giant TV and a Playstation 3 for our living room. I can see that I have chosen for many years not to have such temptations around the house because I can so easily get caught up in using them to avoid my life. I’m learning, still, how to distinguish when I am distracting myself, and when I am simply unwinding in recreation. It’s a very fine line that I am now choosing to face, rather than avoid.

How are you engaged in distracting yourself from what you really want? What rises up in you when you just stop? What have you been putting off that is really important to you?

Last night I declared to my Um…Gee…Um Improv playmates that I’m going to start working on a one man show. I’m scared, thrilled, have no idea what will arise, and am ready to engage in the process and discover what it is I might like to communicate. It’s been on my future list for about 7 years, and I’m through being distracted, playstation or not!

Peace,

Todd.

It is interesting to me how my fellow humans and I often have the idea that we can think our way through our problems. I mean really, when do you do your best thinking? For me, the more caught up I am in thinking, the more confused I can get by the myriad of possible ideas and solutions to my present circumstance.

Have you even been out on a run, or in the jacuzzi, or on a hike, and suddenly out of nowhere comes a clear idea about something you’ve been struggling with? This happens to me all the time. The answer just bubbles up from the depths, and when it comes, I don’t even need to think about it, because I know its the way to go.

I had been thinking for the last week about whether I wanted to get on the board of directors for a local non-profit. I am very committed to this organization and am already doing some work with them, and could see how I could be a huge asset to the board. I’d been thinking about it, weighing my options, and the clarity just wasn’t there. And then it came, when I wasn’t even thinking about it, in a moment when I was purposely doing nothing but being in my body and listening to the bamboo leaves rustling in the wind on my back patio. “I don’t want to burn myself out”, said the voice, and I knew in that moment that in order to keep doing what I’m already doing for this agency well, that declining this additional role was definitely the right thing for everyone concerned.

How do you cultivate clarity? When do you do your best “thinking”? What supports living your life and making your important decisions from a place of wisdom and inner peace?

Think about it :^)

love, Todd.

It’s a New Year and a time for new beginnings! This year I’m looking at revamping my website and including a blog. I notice that in my coaching I’ve been working with quite a few people who are service professionals, where doing business includes a bit of selling yourself. Many people are reluctant to do this when it is when it is framed this way, as selling. So what might be a more powerful way to look at it that would make this activity enjoyable and life serving?

I’m looking at it this way. This year I am going to put myself out there and really be my purpose. My vision is: A world full of integrated, connected, expressive beings living love full out! In that light, writing a blog is for me a chance to be my purpose, and move in the direction that I am committed to moving. I’m not interested in selling anything. I am interested in being an invitation to openness, love, connection, and authenticity, and in generating that in all aspects of my life. I’m going to live a life that inspires me!

Much love,

Todd.